Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
