Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
