I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
