I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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