You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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