did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
