Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
