I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
