Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize