i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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