She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also, beer. Big fan.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize