oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Houston, we have a blender
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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