I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
