he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
send nudes
from the living room?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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