That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
