I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
