well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
