its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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