plz talk dirty to me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
