oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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