capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
