So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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