question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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