I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
