ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
