I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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