their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
