I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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