I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize