I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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