I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize