her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
