everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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