needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
