We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
