Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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