TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Boobs speak an international language.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
not ubering you a puppy
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
