I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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