sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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