Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
