She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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