After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My bed smells like the plague
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
