Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He did a backflip because drugs
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