fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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