so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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