wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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