I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
