i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
