we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
