Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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