He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
