wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
