Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
