And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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