My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ok first of all what the fuck
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
